Today is an anniversary for my wife and I. Four years ago I watched her descend a stair down to the lawn where I and our closest loved ones stood.
I wish I could show you what I saw. She stood alone on a balcony that jutted from the restored 1800s home where we were to be married. Behind her a cloudless blue sky. Not the grey blue or the smoky blue of civilization, but the deep blue of a sky we rarely have the opportunity to see.
I close my eyes and still see that image. Maybe my memory has deepened the blue, but I do remember well standing there and thinking that her deep chestnut hair framed perfectly her gorgeous face.
I was noticing colors in a way I doubt I ever will again. It had to be the moment. I was looking at an angel. I am not speaking figuratively. I watched an actual clad in white, brilliantly glowing, gorgeous angel float down the stairs toward me.
Rilke wrote that to glimpse an angel would be terrifying. I understand. I stood my ground as an angel grew close. I was terrified. What did I do to deserve this? How could I make an angel happy?. I still can see the picture of her reaching for my hand. It is an image softened through my tears. She smiled as she took my hand in hers.
In that moment I knew I could tell Rilke that yes, angels are terrifying, but when they grasp you to their heart you find a peace, a love, a calmness that makes the cacophony of the world fade to a whisper.
I am married to an angel. I am married to a giving mother. I am married to patience. I am married to laughter. I am married to wisdom. I am married to kindness. I am married to wit. I am married to caring. I am married to love.
I am married to Catherine.